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From Her i wanted you to know i love the way you laugh I cannot imagine how I got through life, and the pains of life, without you as a part of mine. Nothing I've ever done became real until there was you. Finding you was the most amazing, beautiful and bittersweet thing that has ever happened to me. Having you love me and be a part of my life is nothing short of a miracle. I am nothing without you as my other half. "For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul." - Judy Garland i wanna hold you high and steal your pain away Words cannot begin to express how much I miss you. Going through the obstacles life has thrown in my path in the past few weeks without you has made them all the more unbearable. Not having your voice over the phone to comfort me when I needed you the most, not being able to relax in your embrace and, for a moment, forget the rest of the world even existed, has been so painful. Not being able to be there for you because I was so caught up in my own mess tore at my heart; even if you didn't know it. "I'll lean on you and you lean on me and we'll be okay." - Dave Matthews Band i keep your photograph i know it serves me well As a little girl, I often dreamed of having one true Love. As a dreamy-eyed teenager, my romantic concepts led me to become engrossed in books and stories about star-crossed lovers. While the idea of two soulmates destined to be kept apart is great fodder for a gripping novel, the reality of such a fate is a terrible burden for two hearts to bear. I know we will have our chance, someday. Until then, living life without you is pain I cannot put into words. A pain we both share, yet experience so differently in relation to our dissimilar lifestyles. Experiencing the little pains of life and the great joys without you is... A part of me dies when I go through some great experience (positive or negative) and know that, not only can my Love not experience a normal life, I have to experience it alone. It is a double-edged sword. Pain for you, pain for me...pain for us. Absence from whom we love is worse than death, and frustrates hope severer than despair. - William Cowper 'cause i'm broken when i'm open and i don't feel like i am strong enough Sometimes, I don't know where I find the strength. I don't know where either of us do. But we go on; somehow. I hate when we feel like we've failed one another; the guilt of it tears us in two. But is not a testimony to our great and deep Love for each other that the thought of not being there for the other, of failing the other in any way, literally destroys us? I was wrong when I said that it merely meant we were two strange people obsessed with the idea of a fantasy that we'd wove around one another. I was wrong to let my obsessive logic cloud the truth - the pure and simple truth of us. How could I think anything about us is false or created in myth? Look at all of the astounding things, the little ways we know what the other is feeling and read each other's minds across the miles. The simple magic we both feel at only the other's touch. I was being foolish, and I'm sorry. You are my everything - how could I live without you in my life? How could I go on if there were no you? "If you should die before me, ask if you could bring a friend." - Stone Temple Pilots 'cause i'm broken when i'm lonesome and i don't feel light when you're gone away I get very frustrated sometimes at our situation. I want you here with me now. I feel so cheated - seeing other happy couples and wishing they knew how very lucky they are; knowing they take for granted the fact that they can be together. Sometimes nothing seems right without you here. I can be in a room full of people, yet I am still alone. How can one go through life without their other half? Without their exact opposite, the matching part of a pair; I can never relate to anyone, share with anyone or be with anyone and be even a smidgen as complete as I am when I'm with you. Absence extinguishes small passions and increases great ones, as the wind will blow out a candle, and blow in a fire. - Francois La Rochefoucauld the worst is over now and we can breathe again I put this together because I love you so. I had to tell you, because it's been entirely too long since I just waxed poetic on my love for you - on what you do to me - on how painful it is to be without you. And I know that you need to hear these things; even if you do know them already. I think that's what happens in a lot of relationships; people forget that we always wanted to be reminded how much we are loved. If life has taught you and I anything, it is not to take anything for granted. For the past few days, every time I turn on the radio "Hemorrhage" by Fuel has been playing. It's an old song, and until here recently, I haven't head it in over a year on the radio. So why was I hearing it now? The answer came upon me, clear as a bell, but a few days ago. My sweet, sweet Love. Regardless of how insane my life may become, regardless of the many obstacles I am having to face and battles I am having to conquer, regardless that it may make me distant and cold for a time...never, ever, in all of eternity, do you have to worry about losing me. I may be preoccupied, but I'd never forget about you! You silly, silly man for thinking such things! I know I haven't been myself, and I know I've stopped writing and visiting and even being responsive on the phone. I'm sure it's got you in quite a state of anxiety - and longing. I'm sorry, my Love. Forgive me? This letter is my apology, and my reassurance that you haven't lost me - you never will. You're stuck with me; might as well get used to it. I plan to marry you someday, and you think when life gets icky I'm just going to up and leave you in the dust? Not much faith in someone you're wanting to spend the rest of your days with, baby. Oh, I know - you knew I'd come back around and that I was just going through a lot. But admit it, part of you feared. I felt it - and I heard it. I love you, J., with every fiber of my being. You make me feel so loved and so special - you know me as no one else does, and you even understand me. And you still like me after all that - no, scratch that, after knowing and understanding the real, true me you even love me!! How amazing is that? You make me feel on top of the world - simply because you love me so much. Your love gives me strength, it gives me life. You...are...my...everything. I mean it. "Where there is love, there is life." - Mahatma Gandhi Forever yours - S. - - | - Link Back - |
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